You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize