Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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