yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
