Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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