thus making me awesome and them whores
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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