Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
