hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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