Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
