Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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