That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's blow job season.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Randomize
