god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
