butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
