rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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