real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
