So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
