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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on

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• (315): View more from New York

  my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  No idea. And yes be here at 4

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow

  (312): View more from Illinois

  haha i wouldn't expect any less of you

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• (904): View more from Florida

  He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...

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