D3 body, D1 cock
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize