Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
