I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
