how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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