its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wish they made helmets for livers.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
