Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
