These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud š³
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a āfireplaceā station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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