So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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