Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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