I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
