Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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