I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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