How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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