none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
