I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
