When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize