i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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