You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
