So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
