Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
