Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
