i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
