i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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