I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
