I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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