I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We talked him into tasing himself.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
