I hate your face
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
