I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
