She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
