so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
