you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My penis needs a shock collar
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
