I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just forgot I was standing up.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
