So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
