She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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