he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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