You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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