yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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