who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
