Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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