you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize