I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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